Monday, May 23, 2011

Why only mock some Christians, but not the rest?

"Thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot,
I will spue thee out of my mouth."

[The following intemperate rant was in large part inspired by a far more thoughtful and compassionate post at Sightless Among Miracles.]

There are fools, and then there are fools. We often hear about how Christians today should be more like the early Christians. Well, the early Christians were a bunch of intolerant superstitious antisocial violence-prone easily-led morons who were sure that Jebus was returning any day now. They were obsessed with prophecies about the exact time of his return, and with trying to discern "the signs" that presaged that return. They couldn't wait for their Zombie God to come back and take them all away from the awful, sinful world they hated living in, and that, for the most part, hated them in return and would be glad to see them gone.

Well, there is a group of Christians today who have truly returned to the roots of their faith. These are the followers of Harold Camping. But the fact is that even though they are closer to "original" Christianity than most of the other 2+ billion Christians alive today, those who believed Camping's prediction that the Rapture would occur on May 21st (with Judgement Day to follow on soon after), in truth hold to beliefs that are no less laughable than all the Zombie Jesus worshippers who mindlessly accept the whole "He Is Risen" bullshit every year on Chocolate Bunny Day. All Christians believe in the Second Coming, even if they quibble over the details and the timing. They have been waiting a long time now. Just how fucking stupid are they?

The Camping followers at least have the great virtue of actually taking their beliefs to heart, rather than just pretending to believe. In Revelations 3:15-16 we read: "Thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." Well, the Camping crowd doesn't have to worry about being "spued" out of God's mouth. But what about the rest of those who consider themselves Christians?

(I think the thing that boggles my mind the most is the way that many of the same people who suddenly became all earnestly thoughtful, conflicted, and hand-wringy over the deep sixing of Osama bin Laden were among the most wantonly gleeful and mean-spirited in their mockery of the Ratpurean wannabes.)

But my real point, as the title of this post makes clear, is that the entire blood cult of Jebus is deserving of the same level of ridicule as that directed at the tiny handful of people who actually believe the crap in the Bible. Those who are only willing to heap scorn on a tiny, powerless handful, and then only when their favorite media icons and thought-leaders signal that it's OK, should really just shut the fuck up.

Theological postscript: For the most part, Pagans do not believe that the Universe has a beginning or an end. This is one of those things that Pagans, Buddhist, and Hindus have in common. In fact, the idea that time, and/or "the world" can have either a beginning or an end has been an object of ridicule since antiquity.

75% of Egyptians support the Muslim Brotherhood. Have a nice day.

The following are taken from the new Pew report on the results of their most recent polling in Egypt.